Beginnings

I've always loved the promise of a new school year.  When I was in school myself, a new lunchbox, boxes of pencils, a new backpack, and meeting my teacher were enough to propel me into a new school year with excitement and anticipation.  These days it's the Parker students who have me eager to get to work each day.  I'm filled with hope as I watch them get off of the bus or say good bye to parents as they walk down the hall, ready to greet their friends and start their day. We've been in school now for only 11 days (8 if you went to Camp Chingachgook!) and children of every age are learning to adjust to a new school year.  With that adjustment, our Parker kids are learning to be flexible, trust themselves, and take risks.

The first few weeks of school are filled with risks.  All of us, from the PreK student to the most experienced teacher, feel this. Our children have to navigate a new set of routines, manage new personality dynamics, make friends, keep friends, decipher the emotional tone of their new class, and figure out where they fit within this new community. Taking acceptable risks when steering through all of this can be daunting. Grown-ups can put it into words, “What if I fail?” Children usually aren’t able to put it so succinctly.

In the classroom and beyond, a child chooses whether or not these risks are worth it:

• Waiting for a teacher to call on them 
• Calling out the answers 
• Speaking up for their own rights (i.e. I don’t like this game. I want to play something different.) 
• Asking to go to the bathroom 
• Saying goodbye to a parent 
• Raising a hand during class 
• Drawing a picture 
• Joining a group or single friend in play 
• Reading aloud to a classmate 
• Crossing the monkey bars or rings on the playground

We want our children to be comfortable taking the risks that promote growth. It is for this reason that we create an environment that welcomes mistakes, experiments, discussion, and observation. All of the children at Parker are capable of great things. We want to make sure they are willing to build the attempts to get them there.

I'm hopeful for a fabulous year ahead.  Our school is filled with amazing children and teachers who are taking risks together, one day at a time.  

Creating Innovators

Interdisciplinary learning, collaboration, risk taking, intrinsic motivation - these are all buzz words to describe ways to cultivate innovation.  Why is innovation so important and how to do we instill and cultivate it in our students?  We recently explored this question at our panel discussion last week. Five highly innovative and successful individuals joined us for an evening of dialogue, questions, and discussion.

While listening to the speakers, I was reaffirmed that we are cultivating innovation right here at Parker. Our teachers create learning opportunities, rather than teach kids to be consumers of knowledge.  Intrinsic motivation is nurtured and celebrated as kids become excited about a topic. Teachers in all grades create environments of inquiry, playfulness, creativity, and discovery. Students are encouraged to ask questions and form relationships with their teachers, who in turn, help kids to discover their passions and get excited about learning.

Over the past two weeks students have been practicing and rehearsing for our school-wide Shakespeare performance. Kids are given a chance to put themselves out there, take a risk, and get on stage in front of the Parker community.  I can't think of a better way to infuse their learning with a sense of playfulness and creativity. They are working together towards a common goal and supporting one another throughout.  

Tony Wagner, Harvard Educational Specialist, advocates for the importance of creating innovators in today's schools.  He argues that content should no longer be at the center of school.  Instead, he says a teacher’s main job should be to help students develop key skills necessary for when they leave school. He contends there are seven essential things young people need to be successful lifelong learners:

Formulate good questions
Communicate in groups and lead by influence
Be agile and adaptable
Take initiative and be entrepreneurial
Effective written and oral communication skills
Know how to access and analyze information
Be creative and imaginative

It's not enough to be just learning content - our children today need to learn how to learn.  Asking good questions, working in groups, being flexible, using teachers as mentors, and thinking creatively are all qualities a Parker education focuses on.  Through projects, performances, public speaking, and community service (and much more!) Parker kids are learning 21st century skills that will prepare them for a bright future.

Working together to formulate questions and find answers!

Helping our children develop internal motivation

As parents we are constantly walking the fine line between hovering over our kids and taking a hands-off approach.  If we hover and monitor their every move, we take away their independence and don't allow them to grow from their mistakes.  Yet if we take a hands-off approach, we run the risk of them floundering without guidance or falling behind in school.  It's a dance I'm sure many of you can relate to.

I've always been a relatively hands-off parent.  I feel my kids make good choices, are responsible, and I trust that they'll do the right thing, get their work done, and succeed in school.  This is the case most of the time, until it isn't.......   I recently ventured into the territory of being just a bit too laissez-faire with one of my kids. I noticed my son's math work was becoming sloppier and sloppier. Neatness wasn't always his strong suit, and I felt there wasn't much I could control without nagging him or sounding like a broken record. I figured one day he would recognize that presentation was important.

Hmmm.....would he really?

Anyway, one night he forgot his math binder and his book containing his homework. (I forgot to mention that this is also a somewhat absent minded child.)  We were able to get the assignment from a friend and he completed it for the next day.  Then, the very next day, I receive a report from his teacher saying he left his classwork at home and wasn't prepared for class that day. This SAME day I discover he has forgotten to complete his science homework and quickly scribbled something in class, hoping it would be good enough. OK, do you see a pattern here??  I was now clearly in the territory of TOO hands-off.

That evening we had a serious family discussion about the quality of our work and effort reflecting our intellectual abilities.  This is a pretty smart kid handing in mediocre work at best (and that may be being generous ;).  He completed his science homework that evening with care, deliberation, and focus.  It took awhile, and he was so proud of the finished product.  I reminded him how good it felt to hand in high quality work - work that really showed his strengths and the effort he put into it.  He also worked carefully on his math. It was neater, more thoughtful, and hopefully easier for his teacher to read.

At Parker, we don't give grades and rarely have tests.  It's sometimes tricky for kids to assess their ability and measure it against a norm. Teachers are striving to develop a student's internal motivation and drive to succeed.  This is powerful stuff - the pride that a child feels after putting in his/her best effort clearly trumps a letter grade.  This feeling of accomplishment is far more meaningful than any grade or test score. The feeling of knowing that with effort and dedication one can produce high-quality work is something that sticks with a child far longer than an A on a math test.

Let's make a commitment to empower our children to succeed, not by micromanaging, nagging, or hovering, but by supporting them and encouraging them to be the best they can be.  Yes, there will be bumps in the road, and times when your child forgets his homework or rushes through her work.  With firm, yet loving guidance focused around school work, children will be able to see how their effort pays off and develop pride from their accomplishments.

Here is a wonderful article about helping your child overcome procrastination and develop internal motivation.  A worthwhile goal to aim for in 2017!

Please comment.  How do you help your child be successful in school?  Are you a hands-off parent, or do you get involved?

Navigating the rocky waters of middle school

Middle school is often a time filled with angst.  Kids are changing rapidly and navigating the social arena at this stage of life is often filled with drama and anxiety.  They are learning by trial and error - which friend will be loyal, which one is likely to cause drama?  How do I connect with my teachers?  How do I manage the demands of an increasing amount of homework?  With endless questions like these swirling around, being an adolescent is challenging at best.

Parker middle school teachers are adept at providing support to our growing middle schoolers, while also taking a step back and giving them a sense of autonomy.  They don't always swoop in to solve a problem, but guide and talk kids through a troubling situation - giving them ways to solve problems themselves.  This, in turn, enhances their self confidence.  Advisory can be a safe space to air frustrations, or bring up sensitive questions.  Parker middle schoolers gain the confidence to approach teachers for help, and are encouraged to do so.  This is the first step in learning how to use adults in life as trusted confidantes and partners.

I came across this article today which further discusses the challenges of middle school.  With the guidance of supportive parents and teachers, middle school doesn't need to be fraught with turmoil - it can be a time of positive change, growth and self awareness.

Getting comfortable with risk

As educators we often say that we want our students to be risk takers -  we define risk as an opportunity to take a chance or explore the unknown.  It can involve physical, mental, and emotional tasks.

The start of any new school year is filled with a certain level of risk.  An unknown routine, strange surroundings, and rooms full of unfamiliar people all contribute to a high level of stress for both children and adults. Will I know what to do?  Will I be able to change between my classes?  Will I like my new teachers? What will happen if I’m afraid to try or, worse, try and fail?  Luckily, the reality is that our children can learn to adapt quickly. Unfortunately, our emotional brains frequently forget this, leading to a fear of risk.

Our children encounter a multitude of risk-taking opportunities everyday. Some of them seem benign to adults; putting marks on paper, talking to a peer or adult, raising a hand in class, answering a question, going across the monkey bars at recess.

At Parker, teachers recognize the risks children meet everyday provide an opportunity to either learn something new or reinforce previous concepts. Our job is to both encourage and assess the risks children encounter.  We want to always balance the potential for growth against the possible discomfort a student may feel when going out on a limb and taking a risk.  Our students should leave school comfortable with taking reasonable chances and be willing to try something new.  Innovation cannot happen without a moderate comfort with risk.

Another component crucial to risk taking is flexibility.  Kids need to be able to be flexible in order to take risks.  If rigidity gets in the way of trying something new, the opportunity for growth is lost.  Flexibility allows children to be able to practice assessing risks, as well.  Should I raise my hand and answer this question in math?  Should I take a leap and start a new story during creative writing today? While making decisions about small risks such as writing or drawing something they've never practiced before, children are practicing for the bigger risks they’ll need to evaluate later.

Getting kids comfortable with risk is a good thing.  As adults it's up to us to encourage, support, and help the children in our lives get to this place.

For more thoughts on risk taking and why we shouldn't be protecting our kids from failure.

Emotional Agility

It is no secret that kids who learn how to manage their emotions at an early age do better later in life. Skills like problem solving, cooperation, listening, and flexibility are definitely predictors of future success and happiness. Parker teachers realize this and strive to give children the opportunity to strengthen these skills. They don't rush in to solve every problem, but encourage kids to work things out on their own and to come to a solution independently. This in turn, strengthens self confidence and promotes resilience in children.

I came across a wonderful article written this week in the New York Times about emotional agility.

"Emotional agility is a process that enables us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. The process isn’t about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts. It’s about holding those emotions and thoughts loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to ignite change in your life."

This may sound like a lofty goal for a child, but it is definitely a worthwhile pursuit. Teachers at Parker work to give children the skills and space to solve tricky social problems and handle complex emotions. They realize that rushing in to always help a child is not the answer.  This doesn't allow children to learn to help themselves, instead they will always rely on an adult to be the problem solver.

As parents and teachers we should be helping a child move through, rather than avoid, a negative emotion and emerge ready to keep going. This is what develops character, self-control, and confidence in our children - all skills they need to be successful in school and beyond.

Chingachgook

Each year as students and teachers get ready for Camp Chingachgook there are a mix of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, trepidation, and curiosity are the norm as kids and adults prepare themselves for three days and two nights together in this new environment. Sleeping bags, pillows, and hiking boots are packed. Flashlights and fleece jackets are ready for chilly nights and possible late night trips to the bathroom.

As we all board the bus together that Wednesday morning, kids are talking and laughing, picking out that perfect seat to share on the way up with their friend.  Already we are laying the foundation for a shared experience. This year I was fortunate enough to attend Chingachgook along with the students. I also approached the trip with some trepidation. What would three days and two nights be like with a group of 43 children? I kissed my younger daughter goodbye that morning and along with our students, boarded the bus with eagerness and anticipation for our trip ahead.

Our time at Camp Chingachgook is more than a short camping trip with friends. It is a time to break from routine, to share experiences, to take that mini-step towards independence. As kids say goodbye to their families, they are venturing out on their own, and making that first separation from parents. This is a huge milestone in the children’s lives. Being away from the safety net of family, kids are making their own choices and using their own judgment to make decisions - an invaluable skill they will use time and time again as they grow and mature. Having the opportunity to make this separation among friends and beloved teachers is a gift.

As I witnessed first hand, kids get to Chingachgook and are immediately engaged. They are building trust, cooperation, and community through team building games and activities. They move from hiking to archery, from bouldering (climbing a mini rock wall) to swimming, from canoeing to traversing a high ropes course. Watching the kids step out of their comfort zone and pick up a bow and arrow for the first time or step onto a high ropes course despite their apprehension, is nothing short of remarkable. The confidence and sense of accomplishment children gain from trying something unfamiliar is one of the primary goals behind this trip.

The true magic of camp, however, does not reside in the daily program of camp events — it lies in the relationship between children, and between children and their counselors, children and their teachers. Children who have been cared for all of their lives by parents are delighted by the novelty of sharing adventures — and their struggle — with their peers and energetic young adults. I was continually impressed by the Chingachgook staff. They led us through the woods on hikes, up mountains, and through Lake George on canoes. They sang songs at dinner, encouraged the kids when they were unsure of their abilities, told stories by the campfire, and provided an unforgettable experience for our children, many away from home for the first time.

After our busy days together, at night we all wound down and settled into our cabins. As the children unrolled their sleeping bags, chose their bunks, and readied their flashlights for the night ahead the real excitement set in. Seeing the enthusiasm and joy that comes from being independent, without one’s parents, is unparalleled. Some kids played cards up in top bunks, others read by the light of their headlamps. Regardless of their nighttime choices, one thing was sure - this was a remarkable milestone for all - a trip they would always remember, where they bonded with friends and teachers, learned something new, stepped out of their comfort zone, and gained confidence knowing they could take on any challenge.

As we got ready to leave that last day, many of the kids I talked to said, “I wish we could stay a few more days.” Looking at their shining faces and bright smiles, I thought the same thing. Until next year, Camp Chingachgook.

Me and the middle school girls after an exhilarating morning on the high ropes course

Traversing the high ropes 

Coming down 

On the way up - serious bravery!

The 8th grade before they hiked up Buck Mountain

Bouldering!